Emotional wellness consists of creating positive emotions and not allowing negative emotions to control our actions and our ability to live a meaningful life. It is interdependent with physical, social, environmental, mental/intellectual (how we think), and even spiritual wellness.
What causes emotions? Before there is an emotion or feeling, there is a thought. That thought might be a memory, or it might be a thought triggered by current external stimuli, or perhaps both. The brain reacts instantly (thinking) to something it notices, be it pleasant or frustrating. If the thought is powerful enough, it will trigger an emotional reaction.
If a stranger or friend gives an unexpected compliment, it likely conjures a positive, pleasant thought. That positive thought evokes a positive emotion, causing one to feel “good.” If the memory or external situation is perceived as a threat, a host of negative emotions can follow. Those negative emotions can affect all areas of life. An obsession over an unpleasant situation and negative emotion is like being a fly stuck to flypaper. Mentally observing the thought can help one choose a better response or way of reacting.
Imagine a woman knocks over her cup of coffee or tea, gets upset, shouts profanities, and throws her favorite mug into the garbage. Instead, maybe this woman cleans up the mess, refills her cup, and perhaps still mutters a few not-so-nice words? Which woman would you rather be around? Emotional Wellness does not mean everything goes well. It does not mean a person is always happy or handles everything perfectly. It means that one can choose how to respond to thoughts and events that happen in life. Emotional wellness lifts our spirits amid chaos.
Changing one’s perspective (changing thoughts) can help manage and create healthy emotions. Changing one's perspective may be difficult, or it may simply be one of those ah-ha moments that brings sudden enlightenment.
Years ago, I had an ah-ha moment that instantly changed my emotions, resulting in my changed behavior. After raising my own eight children, I found myself in my 50’s raising three little grandchildren. While I wanted my grandchildren, I was exhausted and sometimes irritable from the constant spills and messes. I remember the day clearly when I walked into the kitchen and saw the dishwasher open and dishes everywhere. I almost yelled out of frustration when a thought/voice came out of nowhere. "You could be raising disabled children who are in wheelchairs. They would be incapable of making messes." How did that thought come to me? I don’t know, but it changed me. Suddenly, I was grateful for raising healthy children who could choose to make a mess. I admit; changing one’s perspective is often not that easy, but it is worth the effort.
In Summary, thoughts evoke emotions. Positive thinking produces positive emotions that promote Emotional Wellness which, contributes to a quality, healthy, holistic lifestyle.